Back in London

Here I am, back to the grind.

Only two months left of coursework and I still don’t know what I’m doing here.
And yet I feel strangely calm.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, yet I have no view of the obstacles in between.
I’ve done a lot of self-discovery this year. I’m going to try to be more self-sufficient, more self- disciplined.

I’ve realized that my lack of discipline is because I get so easily overwhelmed and then discouraged. I never thought of myself as a negative person, maybe just when it comes to myself. It’s been rough.

Today at least, I’m feeling focused. I’m learning to catch myself when I’m feeling discouraged. I assess the situation and I have to honestly feel like I’ve done everything possible before I give up. Everything possible means:
“Have I called the right people?”
“Who else can help me?”
“How much research have I done? Is it enough to give up entirely?”
“What’s my timeline? Do I have the time I go over my research again?”

I need to always feel like I have work to do. I should never be bored. There is so much work to do? What am I doing watching Shahs of Sunset?

Alarms. Lots of alarms. On my phone, on my iPad, on my calendar.

Every-effing-where

Focus, reminders and research

That will be the key to a successful two months.

Here I come winter ter.

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